Disclosing domestic violence hurt the women who disclosed being victimized while alleged perpetrators suffered no negative repercussions — that is unless the mediator noted evidence of domestic violence when the mother herself did not allege it. When this occurred, mediators recommended protected child exchanges twice as often. Thus women who were forthright with their domestic violence allegations secured less protection for themselves and their children (Dallam & Silberg, 2002).

While about 80% of separating and divorcing couples manage to resolve child custody and visitation issues amicably, 20% of these cases are volatile and highly contested. Of these highly contested cases, researchers have determined that as many as 75% involve domestic violence (Keilitz et al., Domestic Violence and Child Custody Disputes, 1997 at 5). Therefore, when a court finds itself facing an intractable custody and visitation dispute, domestic violence may well be a complicating factor.

It is important for the court making this decision to have full knowledge of proceedings involving the parties in other courts. Some court systems are drawing before the same judge all civil, criminal and family matters involving family members (“one family- one judge”). See Recommendations, Creating a Responsive Court System. This integrated approach makes it more likely that the judge deciding custody and visitation will have the full picture. Knowing all aspects of the family, criminal and civil matters and having the assistance of a guardian ad litem knowledgeable about the impact of domestic violence on children will help produce a better and safer outcome for the children.